Hello, I am the Otzi the Iceman. I am going to tell you about my death. Beware and behold the true horrors of my past.

One day here I was going to give a speech as I am the village leader. Then, someone came up to me and accused my of the crime of stealing from our villagers. It started a fight and I fought hard, and defeated the three people who came up to me, but in the end, I hurt my hand. The next day I went to go hide up in the mountains, so no one ever had to say anything about me “stealing” anything ever again. During the first day’s journey, I climbed a lot. In fact, I climbed 3,500 feet vertically up a mountain. The following day, as I reached the end of my day’s climbing of 3,000 feet, I went to go and rest in a cave, and that’s when the murder happened.

I was just setting down my gear as I moved in towards the back of the cave. I yelled, because my left shoulder had just been shot with an arrow. I had looked back and saw the shaft sticking out of the back of my left shoulder, and I had a weird feeling. I am going into shock, and I can’t move. I am sweating and I want to fall down, but I can’t fall down, I can’t move. I finally collapsed, and as I fell, I was able to see the blurry face of my attacker. It was a man, with a long, black beard, a longbow, a slingshot, and an axe, but the axe was not as valuable as my axe. It must have been a goon from one of the people who accused me! I had started to feel really, really cold, and then I blacked out.