Kaiser Wilhelm is going to Cracker Barrel with his friend Tsar Nicholas. They made a reservation, but the wait was two hours.

“Screw this, man. There’s a Red Robin down the street,” said Nicholas, as he got into his green 2008 Honda Civic that only cost him $2000, but, it got a slight dent in the back. Wilhelm followed into his car, and they went to Red Robin. The wait was only 20 minutes, so Nicholas played Clash of Clans on his phone. Unfortunately, 討厭華夫餅的惡人 raided his base.

“Verdammt. Can’t I ever get a break?!” Wilhelm said, as he’d also been raided by 討厭華夫餅的惡人.

“Gentlemen, I am Rudolf and I will be your waiter this afternoon. Allow me to lead you to your table,” The waiter said, motioning for them to follow him.

They got to the table, and looked through the menu.

“What will you two be having to drink?” The waiter asked.

“I’ll have the Poppin’ Purple Lemonade.” Wilhelm said.

“And i’ll have the McDonald’s Sprite.” Nicholas said.

“Any appetizers?” The waiter asked.

“We’ll split an order of Mozzarella Sticks.” Nicholas said.

“Okay. I’ll be back soon with your drinks and appetizer.” The waiter said, walking back to the kitchen.

“What are you gonna order?” Asked Nicholas.

“Probably the Clucks & Fries. With some of that Bourbon BBQ Sauce, as always.” Wilhelm replied.

“Those are always good. I’ll probably get the Cheesy Bacon Fondue burger. It looks good.” Nicholas replied.

The waiter came back with their drinks, and they gave him their orders. They both talked about the old Pakistani dude that lives next to Wilhelm while eating their Mozzarella Sticks.

And then the waiter came back to them with their food, and gave them the check. Although, the waiter was from Czechoslovakia, so did they get a Check from a Czech? Who knows?

Anyways, they ate their food, Nicholas crashed the Civic cause of the McDonald’s Sprite, and then they walked home. Wilhelm went to sleep, and had a dream about how the green 2008 Honda Civic had a slight dent in the back.

Kromer Stuff

Kromer is a currency invented by Rebel J. Wilt. It can be exchanged for Art or Books. It can be used from 9:05am-9:55am and 3:00pm to 3:20pm. One can use a KKK (Kromer Kredit Kard) instead of classic, paper Kromer, or use original Kromer. Some things you can buy are Flags, Friends, and Funny Things.

War Stories

Did you know that in the Austro-Prussian War, the Microstate of Liechtenstein was in it. They sent out their full army of 80 Men, and when they got back, they were 1 man stronger because the army made a Italian friend.

Remember, War can be fun, as long as it’s before 1939!

How To Talk To Trees

Now, some of you may not know this, but I am a certified tree-speaker. However, I am not the Lorax. I am merely a friend to any Pine Tree in the Atlantic Northwest Coastal Region (ANCR). If you want to talk to a tree, you must say nice things to it. For example, “Did you do something with your leaves”?. Ask them questions, give them stuff, et cetera. Call them Human names, though, like Joe, or Bob. Not “Mr. Tree” or “Leaf Man”, as those names anger them.

Trees are good friends. Be their friends. As they are lonely.

How To Get Tall, Like Me

I am the tallest kid in the class. Most of you know this. How did I get so tall? Let me tell you!

I drank milk. No water, just milk, for about a year. This made me very tall. However, I did this when I was three. So, if you’re lactose intolerant, then unfortunately, you’re gonna stay short.

Anyways, that’s the end for today. Hope you all learned something from this. Bye!

• Signed, Rebel J. Wilt.
• (P.S: Kromer Has Made A Return!!!1!)

Hey every!

I chose to not get candy for the Kromer Store.

But instead, you can buy art stuff!

Countryballs to keep on your desk and stuff- 20 Kromer each, 30 if it’s a country I like, 40 if it’s a 2-country bundle (Ex: Byzantines and Ottomans)

Countryball Comics- 20 per comic, 25 per custom event

Art Commission- 40 Kromer

Posters- 15 Kromer

Anyways, let’s get back to business.

I made some Kromer debit cards you can use! You give me the Kromer, and it’s added to your card. Each one has a Countryball on it, so here’s the ones available:

Serbia

German Empire

Luxembourg

Byzantine Empire

Roman Empire

People’s Republic of China (China)

Soviet Union

Nepal

Republic of China (Taiwan)

New Zealand

UK

British Raj

And USA.

Those are all the ones avaliable. If you want a certain one, comment on this blog saying who you are and which one you want.

Anyways, have a great day, and remember: Love thy Boomhauer!

• Signed, Rebel J. Wilt, The “Kromer Kaiser”.

HEY EVERY!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO A GOOD PODCAST ABOUT SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENED?

THEN TUNE IN TO THE PHASE DISTORTION PODCAST ON SPOTIFY

EPISODE ONE WILL GO UP ON THE 15th THIS WEEK!

Alright, Podcast aside, welcome back to the Weekly Moonsidian. I don’t have much to say this week. I made this cool Prussian stocking in class. I also made a resume to be the Roman Emperor. Anyways, this week has overall just been okay at best. Some weird things have happened, such as Yulio’s brother being drugged by teenagers in the neighbourhood and going into the ER. But he’ll probably mention that in his blog. But, anyways, allow me to mention what my podcast is about:

It tells the stories of 3 people; Walt, Viola, and Floyd. They’re all friends, but they’re in their 30s. Hijinx insues. Sometimes other people are involved. But anyways, listen to it, tell your friends about, and spread the word because it’s just me doing it with the world’s crappiest mic and the fan going in the background.

I have made an art. It is very nice. See if you can spot my name!

It’s in Cursive, so it may be hard to see.

I picked Red and Green for it because it’s around Christmas time.

Anyways, have a merry Chistmas, happy Hannukah, and a joyful Jingly Day.

Signed, Rebel J. Wilt, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire

Okay, this title may seem a bit weird, but stay with me!

Step 1: Location

Well, the first thing you’ll need for becoming a successful nation is to find a location. Find some land out there that isn’t claimed. May it be in the Congo or Siberia, just make sure it’s habitable. You’ll need to have at least 1,000 or more as a permanent population. You MUST have a claim to the land, or else you’ll just be stealing someone’s land.

Step 2: Naming

Alright, you have the land. But now what? You gotta have a name for it! And when it comes to names, make sure the name correlates with the area. For example, Micronesia is a country in the Micronesian archipelago. And Mississippi is named after the river. So, make sure the name makes sense, whether it be based off of geography or history, it’s gotta make sense.

Step 3: Avoiding Colonization

So, you have a name and place. Now we’re at the (2nd) hardest part of it all. You must avoid colonization from any countries. If you’re an island, you must REALLY worry about the British. And so, you need to set up a military and defend your nation from others. You must make sure nobody tries to colonize you, or else you may find yourself speaking another language soon!

Step 4: Getting Recognized as a Country in the eyes of the United States

This is a hard one. You need to get recognized by the big papa of independence himself, the USA. If you get their recognition, you’ll have an easier time with the next step. Because if you’re the USA’s ally, then you can stop yourself from getting colonized, because NOBODY wants to fight the USA.

Step 5: Getting into the United Nations

This is a hard one. Unless if you got Step 4 to work successfully, then you’ll not have this one happen for a WHILE. Getting into the UN requires for at least 2/3 of the UN to recognize you as a real country. Take Kosovo for an example, it has 62 UN members recognizing it, but that’s not 2/3 of the UN. So, get recognized by doing great things. For example, taking trash out the ocean, stopping deforestation, and more.

Oh well, that has been my guide of how to make a country. Make sure that if you make one, it isn’t an island.

• Signed, Rebel J. Wilt, Emperor of Dotriana

What’s going on in the Wilt Household today

This week not much has happened at home. And despite this, some things happened. My brother and the neighbour worked on German homework together downstairs until around 9:00PM. And on Sunday I went to the Pancake Farm. I got cinnamon pancakes, they were good. And the bacon was the best part! Afterwards we went to Goodwill and I got my halloween costume along with a visual history of the battles of the pacific during ww2. And then we got a call from my brother, because he and his girlfriend were at the Park City Mall, and that one thing happened. If you know, you know.

Class Drama

Okay, some tensions have been brewing in class. Because there’s a big debate going around saying “Is Communism good or bad?”. A lot of people say it’s good, but me and some others have formed the Secret Society of Beeside, which is against Communism.  Again, Communism is bad, it causes famine and stuff like that. If anything, there will be a civil war between us Beeside members and the Communists. Let’s hope if it does, the war will be in Beeside’s favor.

Suggestions Open!

You read that right! We’re now accepting for you and other classmates to send in stories for us to publish! Yeah, maybe we’ll edit them slightly, but they’ll be put in the papers! So please, send in stories, memories, ideas, anything really.

Well, this has been a shorter article this week, but as always, don’t do things too out there because we’re all bound to earth!

• Signed, Rebel J. Wilt, Author for the Weekly Moonsidian.

(Side Note: Does anyone listen to Chuck Berry? Because I still do!)

What’s going on today at the Wilt household

Today has been fine so far. I’ve been good this morning, and not much else has really happened. Yesterday I went to my grandparents and I got a can of Toffee Peanuts. Ever have some of them? They’re very good, but hard to find. If you find some, buy them! Yeah, trick-or-treaters don’t like ’em, but they’re good. And if it’s a good food, it’s a good buy as I always say. They look like peanut butter Cap’n Crunch, so look out for them!

Forecast for this week in Lancaster County:

Tuesday will be cloudy but no showers, like how yesterday was in Chester County. Tommorow will be partly cloudy, with the sun coming out every now and then. Thursday and Friday look similar to Wednesday, with Saturday having small showers.

Weekly War Stories

Today for War Stories Weekly, we have two! One from a WW2 vet in Texas, the other a Vietnam vet from Alabama.

WW2

“I was deployed out on the beaches of France. The Germans were fighting harsh. Them nazzys was firin’ at us, and I had no interest in it. I just wanted to fight for my country, and was hoping I could get home soon. I had heard that some wives of other folks had left them for other men while their man was out fighting in some war. I didn’t want me wife to leave me. So, I fought even harder. Mortar shells were flyin’, but they were from the Germans! Oh, that was one of the scariest days of my youth!” – Cotton Hill, WW2 vet.

Vietnam

“Back in Nam, we didn’t have that much. My platoon and I were fighting hard. I got shot in my buttox, and got a medal for it. The Lieutenant was angry about this, cause he lost his legs. I lost my best friend, so I knew how he felt. I’m going to dinner at his house tonight, hope he’s doing fine.” – Anonymous, Vietnam Vet.

Well, this has been your host, Rebel Wilt. Hope you’re all doing swell across the world, and as always, we’re bound to the earth, so know your limits!

Leute, das ist nur ein Test, um zu sehen, ob ihr Deutsch versteht. Nur dieser kleine Teil ist auf Deutsch, aber gegen Ende des Jahres wird das alles deutsch sein!

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